Sadness
I have been reading the Hunger Games series and just finished it within the last hour. Then I commenced a half an hour cry.
It wasn't because it was sad really. Just some days I feel utterly cold to the world around me.
Some days I don't know why I read dystopian fiction, but I always seem to find it and read it and get wrapped up in it. I'm sure there's a lot of it out there that I haven't read, but I have read a lot of it and even taken a class in college on it.
I wonder if I read it because I had a screwed up childhood and I try to remind myself that as bad as it was, there are worse things that could happen? I wonder if I read it because I wish I could figure out what would make a utopia work and so you have to delve into all the things that DON'T work? Some days I feel utterly detatched from the world. Is reading dystopian fiction a way to make the inner feelings feel more normal?
Or it could make me so sad because I so identify with the character...Had to grow up before she was supposed to, very poor, not particularly friendly or trusting of stangers, abrasive or ill spoken words when trying to help, someone people followed, naieve, used as a pawn, never wanted to have kids so that what was done to her was not done to her kids... I'm sure there's a bunch more.
But this is all the energy I have to talk about now.
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